before sleep overcomes
and my body numbs,
before my tired eyelids fall
and dreams begin to call-
slide silently closer and listen
as i whisper the only thing on my mind
since the sun’s earliest rays
penetrated worn curtains
and shone ever brightly
into sleep filled eyes.
move closer still-
press your delicate ear
to my mumbling lips,
and listen as i speak
my simple truth.
in these early hours
i am open
and honest to a truth
too often gone unspoken.
i love you.
look into my eyes and reveal your imperfections.
do not turn away,
but instead meet my gaze halfway
and cast away your troubled thoughts
as i force myself to do the same.
feel fear fall away feebly at your feet
and let your inhibitions wane like the moon upon solstice-
for i am solace in the waning moonlight
as your heart becomes eclipsed by the dark.
strike the chains from your back
and remove the coiled barbs from your ankles and wrists.
you do not deserve them.
allow me to show the way-
how to leap into the flames
and remain unscathed.
i have been burnt and lost before,
let me save you.
i can show you how to dance among raindrops
while remaining dry-
how to soak in the sunlight,
growing like autumn’s first fruits
and the trees that supply them.
all i ask is you hold me-
anchor me to your side with a loving embrace
and hold me there with your gentle touch.
keep me captive in your eyes.
leave me enthralled,
because in this moment i see the beauty
of everything that lies beneath them.
your eyes are the gateway to your soul,
and i pray my heart is the key.
When the lights dim on that empty football field,
and the night swallows the stands,
I’ll pull my sweatshirt over your shoulders
and press you closer to my chest.
For the first time tonight we’re alone,
no stray friends interrupting us in search of a seat.
In the silence,
I can hear you–
really hear you–
and you have me hanging onto each word,
like a drowning man set adrift in the sea
clings to a life preserver or a piece of driftwood.
The worst part is,
I didn’t realize I was drowning
until this very moment.
I hope you can’t hear the fear,
the kind that only a desperate man truly knows,
wavering in my shaky voice.
I’m just trying to push words out,
to make conversation with your smile.
You have several blond strands out of place,
and my fingers visibly tremor
as you let me reach across your delicate face
and slowly brush them away.
We walk to the car,
slowly enjoying these fleeting moments–
just me and my home town girl.
*Image: “Football Season” via Deviantart by tcday1994
I hope you catch me staring–
it wasn’t a coincidence that I was checking you out.
I hope you notice because I’ve been trying to think
of something clever to say to you all week,
but I’ve struggled to even get out a “hi!”
I hope you don’t think I’m weird because I was staring–
and that you instead find it flattering–
but the other way is perfectly understandable.
I hope this doesn’t come as a surprise to you
(that I love you and all),
but it probably will,
seeing as I can’t say what I want to say–
I can’t tell you all the things I’ve been dying to
since the day you walked into my life.
I hope you’re reading my mind right now,
and that you’re somehow picking up this internal dialogue–
this colossal struggle of the head and the heart,
fought in the battlegrounds that are my body.
I hope you’re smiling at me now because of something I did–
I don’t know what it might have been–
I hope that you’re single and interested but first–
I hope I can muster the courage to find out.
Image: “Because I Love You” by LOVEshannanegins via Deviantart
I used to think I’d miss you–
used to think I’d cry when you eventually left.
But that day was yesterday,
and today my heart already feels whole again.
Instead of ripping it in half you fixed it,
healing it with every taken step.
It’s not quite the same as before you,
and only time will tell.
No longer is it brimming with fear and anxiety,
but instead overflowing with a mix of joy and happy relief.
As I sit here without a single tear left to shed,
you’re the only thing that’s changed.
I used to think what we had was love–
Used to believe that you were the only one for me.
But that all ended yesterday,
When my open eyes could finally see.
I’d like to say I’ll remember our time fondly–
But that’s not even a half truth.
Photographs that were once bustling with life and color
sit crammed in a single dresser drawer,
stone cold and void of love
that we were once convinced we shared.
You were my first and my only,
but you certainly won’t be my last.
Image: “Wall” via Deviantart by Amendoins